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Elevator Etiquette

28 Nov

Common sense is dead…

I’m talking about simple, “were you born in a barn, or are you just ignorant?” common sense.

It’s dead.

I see evidence of it every day.

My office is on the 4th floor. While walking the stairs would be a good response to my aversion to exercise, I usually prefer to wait for the elevator.

Common sense dictates that if you are riding in an elevator and the door opens, the people who are waiting to get onto the elevator should step aside to let you out.

But not where I work…oh no…that would make too much sense.

Apparently, the lizard brain occupying the cranium of these neanderthals tells them that if they do not shove their way onto the elevator as quickly as possible, it will somehow leave without them, like some train pulling out of the station as they chase it down the platform.

The thing that apparently does NOT cross their minds is that if they simply step aside and let me (and my fellow travelers) out, they will have plenty of room to stand once they clamber aboard. And, unless they are particularly slow (or lack basic agility), the elevator doors will not close and leave them behind.

In fact, if the doors DO start to close before they have managed to get on, a simple stretch of the arm into the doorway will trigger a sensor that will cause the door to re-open, allowing them the access that they so deeply crave.

This is one of my pet peeves…lack of elevator etiquette.

On the other hand…maybe I am being too harsh.

Maybe I am overlooking one very real possibility…

Maybe these people have never ridden an elevator before.

Maybe they are elevator virgins and they have never had the basic rules of elevator etiquette explained to them.

Maybe their parents were frightened to ride in an elevator so they always took the stairs, dragging their poor children behind them, not realizing that their own phobia was preventing these poor children from learning a very basic, yet necessary skill to survive in society, how to properly board an elevator.

Or maybe they were raised by wolves…

Wolves who push their way onto occupied elevators…

Yeah, that’s probably it…

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1 Comment

Posted by on November 28, 2011 in Society, Uncategorized

 

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One response to “Elevator Etiquette

  1. Bryan Hart

    November 28, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    How am I supposed to get to my office or home on time if I I don’t shove everyone else out of my way? I know that 1-10 second boost makes the world of difference!

     

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