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Perfection is Hard…

02 Dec

I am undefeated at Settlers of Catan…

Have you ever played this remarkable game? It’s kind of like a cross between a war game and Monopoly. Settlers won the game of the year award in 1995, and has become an international phenomenon in the gaming community. The US Catan Championships were held in Indianapolis last August, and the winner is going to Germany for the world championships next summer.

And I am undefeated at this game…

Now I am sure some of you are wondering why I have not entered myself into the championships for this great game…I’m sure that even more of you couldn’t care less…

But read on anyway…

The reason that I have not entered these championships is that I am undefeated at this game…

Did I mention that?

Why would I enter a competition that might end with a blemish on my perfect record?

I mean, the person who eventually wins this tournament has probably lost the game at least once in his life, right?

So even when he or she wins the title as world champion at Settlers of Catan, they cannot say that they are undefeated…

But I can…

Of course, that does present a problem.

It means that I can never play the game again, as I would risk my perfect record…that’s too bad.

I will miss this game…Unless…

I could play against my daughter, Rachael.

She’s five…

But with my luck, one of her older siblings, or, dare I say it, her MOTHER, might come into the room and start coaching her on what moves to make.

That would present a problem.

I would have to cheat…

Or I could fake a heart attack…

I guess that would be cheating too…

This isn’t my fault. If my family had just managed to beat me in any of the games we had played, I would not be undefeated…I would not feel the pressure to maintain my perfect record…

But no…sadly, I was too skillful.

So now I have to carry this burden…the weight of having a better winning percentage than the eventual world champion…

SIGH…

Perfection is a tough job…it must be very tough on my family…

Ya know, it’s pretty selfish of me to subject them to the spotlight that comes with having a member of the family who is so perfect.

It would be a wonderful gesture on my part to sacrifice this perfect record so that my family can get back to leading a normal life…hmmm…

I know what I should do. I should play Settlers of Catan with my family…and I should LOSE…so that they no longer have to face a life of being weighed down by my perfection.

I will lose on purpose…

And I have stated it here as proof of my intentions…

So now, they will NOT have to gang up on me…they will not have to make the sole purpose of their playing to bring me down, to bring me to defeat.

Instead, I shall lovingly…willingly…SACRIFICIALLY lose at Settlers of Catan…

For the sake of my family…

That’s my story…

And I’m sticking to it.

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Posted by on December 2, 2011 in Family, Society, Uncategorized

 

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