Why Do I Do What I Do?

31 Dec

I don’t understand myself…

I know the things that I WANT to do…what I want to accomplish.

And I know the things that I NEED to do in order to accomplish the things That I WANT to do…

But I don’t do them…

I WANT to go skydiving…so I NEED to lose weight.

But I don’t exercise…

Or watch my diet…

I WANT to develop my website…so I NEED to develop content.

But I don’t plan…

Or strategize…

I play Facebook Scrabble…


I WANT to write a book…so I NEED to spend longer stretches of time writing.

But instead I write short, pithy blog posts…

Some people LIKE my blog…And it IS writing…

I’m NOT giving that up.

I WANT to pay off my last credit card and be debt-free, so I NEED to stick to my budget.

But something always comes up (I have 8 kids…GO FIGURE!).

I know that I am not the only person who struggles with this problem. I talk to people all the time who have the same lament…often they will try to excuse it by saying that there is “so much to do and so little time,” or, “I lost track of time.” Feel free to insert your excuse here…

This isn’t a new problem…this has been around for awhile.

Recently, I read an old letter from a friend named Paul. (BTW, for you younger readers out there, a letter is what we used to send to communicate with other people before we had e-mail. Or texting. Or Facebook.)

Anyway, Paul was experiencing the same frustrations that I am. Here’s a quote from his letter:

“What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise….My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it’s predictable.”

I wish I could have offered Paul some words of wisdom that would have been helpful…but it’s difficult to help someone else when you are battling the same affliction…

It’s also difficult to help someone who has been dead for almost 2,000 years.

See, my friend Paul didn’t write that letter specifically for me. He actually wrote it to a church in Rome sometime between 55 and 58 A.D…

But isn’t it interesting how human nature is the same now as it was then?

Seems like Paul had some issues with self discipline, just like I do now…or dare I say, like YOU do now?

What is it that you want to do, but don’t? What do you do that you wish you would STOP doing?

I’m not a big New Year’s resolution kind of guy. But as we approach the end of the year, it does occur to me that the beginning of each year is a natural time to reflect upon renewal of good practices and elimination of bad ones.

I would encourage you to identify at least one thing that you need to STOP and one thing that you need to START, and make a commitment to doing each of them regularly.

That’s how I started this blog…

That’s how I’m going to go skydiving in 2012…

That’s how I’m going to get rid of that credit card bill…

What are YOU going to do?


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One response to “Why Do I Do What I Do?

  1. Nancy Ward

    December 31, 2011 at 9:55 am

    Nice job reading my mind there. As usual, my New Years resolution is FOCUS! I think the first thing on my list will be to ditch Words with Friends. The only thing I got from 2.5 years of playing that game is the creative ability to burn off a Q.

    Your post got me all fired up. Here’s to a 2012 of focus for you, and all of us out there, to achieve our goals.


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