RSS

Tag Archives: friendship

Chasing Down a Dream

I can put the napkin down…I do not have egg on my face. And I am so relieved.

After highly publicizing my intention to run a 5K race-something I have NEVER done before in my life-yesterday, I did it…and I finished.

With a good luck kiss from my wife, and the encouraging words, “just don’t throw up” echoing in my head from my good friend Rachael, I was off. And my life was changed forever.

I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but it’s true.

You see, when I weighed 360 pounds and I could barely walk up a short flight of stairs without stopping because of severe knee pain and extreme shortness of breath, running a road race wasn’t anywhere on the radar of plans for my life. In fact, I genuinely believe that if I had tried to run at that point, I probably would have had a heart attack.

And I was probably right.

But that was then…In the last four years, I have lost weight…close to 100 pounds.

And with the loss of fat has come a gradual gain in self-confidence.

But it was a series of challenges that brought me to the point where I am able to write this particular blog post:

  • Steve challenged me to run one mile, because he saw my lack of belief in myself;
  • Larry, Bryan, and Mark challenged me to run a 5K with them;
  • And I challenged myself to risk looking like a fool if I failed by telling anyone and everyone who would listen what my goal was.

So here I am, 24 hours later, reflecting on my first 5K. The race route has been cleared, the road has returned to normal, and the only reminders I have of the race are a couple of tired legs, some great memories, and a few nice pictures.

And, oh yeah, I also have more than 100 comments and “likes” on Facebook from well-wishing friends and relatives. Thanks to everyone for their well wishes.

To be honest, I was a little bit surprised at the massive groundswell of support. People who had friended me and then disappeared from my Facebook feed are popping back up to congratulate me or to tell me that they are inspired to set a similar goal.

You know what that means?

It means that during a time when the stock market is down and gas prices are up…when the politicians on both sides of the aisle can’t stop the attack ads and negative campaigning…when the Middle East situation continues to spiral out of control…

People from all cross-sections of society NEED to hear a feel-good story.

As I ran this race, I was energized by the people along the 3.1 mile route, shouting encouragement, clapping for the runners, handing out cups of water, and even spraying willing runners with a hose to cool them off.

I joked with a couple of people sitting in lawn chairs at the end of their driveway that I would trade places with them if they wanted. They laughed, politely declined, and encouraged us to keep going. As I approached the finish line, the race director was standing at the top of the hill, shouting encouragement, “Keep going! You’re almost there! Good job!”

And then I heard the calls from my friends, my wife, and my kids:

“Keep going, Jon! You can do it! Go Dad! WOO HOO!!!” I crossed the finish line with a smile on my face and was immediately mobbed by my favorite people in the world…my family and friends.

With my son, Andrew, who finished 17 minutes ahead of me. 🙂

And as I thanked them for their encouragement, I also thanked God for giving me the strength to do what I could never have done on my own.

So now I have done something I never IMAGINED would be possible…I’m looking for my next challenge…and I’m excited to figure out what it will be.

In the meantime, I am planning to run my next 5K. It’s at the Valparaiso Popcorn Festival. And it’s in three weeks.

I guess I better keep running.

Because I can’t accomplish my dreams if I’m not willing to chase them down.

Advertisements
 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Teach your Children Well…


In the classic film, A League of Their Own, Manager Jimmy Dugan, a washed up, alcoholic, former major leaguer, is hired to manage a traveling women’s baseball team during World War Two. At the height of the movie, Dugan, played by Oscar-winner Tom Hanks, explodes on his right fielder for making a bad throw. She responds by bursting into tears, eliciting Dugan’s now famous rant: “ARE YOU CRYING? There’s no crying! THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!”

I’m no Jimmy Dugan. And I don’t coach baseball. But I learned one very important thing this afternoon…

There IS crying in SOFTball. A LOT of it…at least when you coach 10-12 year-old girls.

I’m not denigrating my team. I love these girls. And I may have learned more about leadership in one afternoon on the softball field than I did from all the speakers at the daylong leadership conference I attended the day before.

But there was a LOT of crying.

We got beat. 17-4. It was not pretty. It can’t be when you lose 17-4. But it was an incredible learning and growing experience…

For me…

I learned that there are a lot of parents who apparently derive their own sense of self-worth from the successes (or failures) of their children. I watched my third baseman make the RIGHT PLAY with a runner on 3rd, but because she did not make a good throw, her parents yelled at her that she should have made a different play…

Even though it would have been the wrong play to make.

My third baseman was in tears.

My catcher was in tears because she asked her mom to stop yelling about the misplays…to which the mom responded, “FINE! I’m never coming to another one of your games ever again!” before stomping off to the concession stand.

My catcher was in tears…

I saw my own daughter miss a couple of balls at first base. She tried…but she missed them.

She was in tears.

I saw a girl strike out, but she forgot to run when the catcher dropped the ball. You can run on a dropped third strike in softball. Everyone was yelling at her, she became confused…and burst into tears.

I saw my shortstop burst into tears of anger because the other team kept their best pitcher in the game for another inning, even after we were losing by 13 runs.

Yes, I saw a lot of crying in softball today.

But you know what else I saw?

I saw a catcher who fired up her team with motivating words when the score was getting out of control. I saw one of the youngest, and least experienced, players on the team start a rally by running as fast as she could to eke out an infield single. I saw the girls start to get excited as a few runs came across the plate. I saw a player hit a two-run double and stand on second base with her arms raised in triumph. I saw my own daughter make a couple of very nice plays at first base. And I saw a lot of the critical parents start to cheer.

What are we teaching our kids?

Are we teaching them that the only time to encourage them and root for them is when they are doing well? Are we instilling in them the idea that success, not honest effort, is the most important thing to be gained? Are we seeing our own failures in our children when they fail? Are we making it about OUR success, instead of about THEIR fun?

I used to be that way…When my kids would succeed, I felt like I had succeeded. And when they failed, I felt like I had failed. And no one wants to fail. So I would get mad at them because they had made me look bad. I took it personally when my son would lose a match in Tae Kwan Do, or when my kids would make a bad play or not run in soccer or baseball.

And then I started coaching kids’ softball.

And I came to realize that the kids just want to have fun. Most of them want to get better, hit the ball farther, run faster, and score more runs…but they mainly want to have fun. And we, as the adults, have made it all about winning.

I’m as guilty as every other parent.

After the game, I sat in a circle in the outfield with the team and we talked about the game. One of the girls suggested that we go around the circle and have each person say something good that one of the other players did during the game. It was a sweet time. Some of the girls were shy…some of them repeated what another player had said.

But they were a team. And they were encouraging one another.

I know that there are some parents who probably wish I was a more aggressive, “in your face” kind of coach. I question whether I need to be more hard-nosed. I hear the coaches of the other team yelling at their players, and I wonder if I’m not getting the best athletic performance out of my players because I’m not tougher with the players.

But one mom came up to me after the game was over-after all the players had left and I was shoving equipment into the bag, and she said six words that meant the world to me.

She said, “I’m so glad you’re their coach.” She emphasized the word “you’re.”

Being aggressive and “in your face?” That’s just not my personality. I am an encourager. I like to motivate people, and I like to help them recognize the situations that they are in so that they can plan their next steps.

And I’m okay with that.

There will be those people who are not fans of my coaching style…Most of those people are parents.

But when I took my third baseman by the shoulders, looked her in the eye and told her, “You made the right play. Don’t let anyone…ANYONE tell you otherwise,” she started to cry again.

Except this time, they were tears of relief.

And seeing her accept that was more important than winning a softball game will ever be.

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

The Ultimate Fighter

My best friend from high school is named Adam*.

Adam has a weight-loss plan…

It’s not a very good one.

In fact, Adam only manages to lose a few ounces every year or so.

And he does it in an extremely painful manner.

He has fractions of his lung removed.

You see, Adam has cancer…

Or rather, Adam HAD cancer.

Now he has it again.

And after December 8th, he will not have cancer…again…

Adam has been battling cancer for more than 5 years. Ironically, that qualifies him as a “cancer survivor.” It’s ironic because every time a new mass of cancerous cells pops up, they go in, remove them, and he is “cancer-free” again…until another mass appears.

Then he goes on his “cancer cell removal diet” again, loses a few more ounces…and the circle continues.

Adam has a cancer scan every 3 months…

We keep hoping that the scans come back negative…ironically, negative is a GOOD thing, positive is a BAD thing.

Adam and I have been friends for 33 years. In high school he was a bit of a nerd…so was I. Neither one of us was going to play on the football team. But Adam was a genius…he still is. I wasn’t a genius…I’m still not.

Adam elevated his nerd status when he was named the valedictorian of our senior class. And he forever immortalized his legendary nerd status by winning money on a Hollywood trivia game show in the 1980’s.

He won a LOT of money.

THAT wasn’t nerdy…

Funny thing about nerds…

You don’t think of them as tough.

You think of them as the wimpy guy with the thick glasses and the pocket protector…the skinny guy in the chess club who’s good at math and science, and likes to play Dungeons and Dragons.

Adam had thick glasses…

He was good at math and science…

He was in chess club and loved Dungeons and Dragons…

Not sure about the pocket protector…

One thing I AM sure of?

Adam is not a wimp.

Adam is tough…

Adam is fighting cancer on a daily basis…fighting like a warrior.

He is fighting for his wife…He is fighting for his son…He is fighting for himself.

Adam is not a wimp…

You know what he is?

He’s tougher than any ultimate fighter I’ve ever seen…

He’s my hero…

If you’re smart, you’ll make him your hero, too.

And say a prayer for him on December 8th…even heroes need prayer.

*The story is true. The name “Adam” has been fictionalized-at my friend’s request-to preserve a certain level of anonymity.

 
5 Comments

Posted by on December 7, 2011 in Family, Motivation, Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , ,